the signs as Jean Ralphio

*poses apathetically*

32,272 notes

the signs as Jean Ralphio

Aries:
hope you brought a change of clothes, ‘cause your eyes are about to piss tears.
Taurus:
I made my money the old fashioned way: ♪ I got run over by a Lexussssss ♪
Gemini:
Tommy T! You just missed the craziest of crazies. clubs. girls. dancing. naked--mom?! argument. fleeing the scene. hiding in a dumpster. coming here. crashing on your couch for a week 'cause ♪technically i'm homeless♪
Cancer:
When life gives you lemons, steal your grandma’s jewellery and go clubbin’
Leo:
no, no... that's too mu- that's too much responsibility for me. I got- I gotta find a way out of this
Virgo:
♪ she's the wooOOoOorst ♪ she is the worst person in the world
Libra:
I guess sometimes I call men 'beautiful', too. I guess that means ♪I'm open-minded as heeeelll♪
Scorpio:
live your life like that cow from that video
Sagittarius:
♪K to the N to the O P E she's the dopest little short in all Pawnee, Indiana♪
Capricorn:
step one: we buy into this club step two: we roll over to the club either in your mercedes benz which is gorgeous or my pre-owned acura legend which is alright step three: i dagger you on the dance floor just bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce now everybodys watching us
Aquarius:
are you do ding-dongs making fake drugs for sophomores, because if true, this guy wants in!
Pisces:
ricka ricka ricka ricka! [imitating DJ scratching] [Whispering] Swanson.

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    This. Is. Everything.
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